Single Man battle

There was this moment when I felt that shitty. Someone very close to me said I got through my 1st big job by fluke. It hurt me immense. Maybe it was just in rage, maybe in anger we speak to hurt others. But that moment has stayed with me until now.
Exactly few months back my very close friend told me that he felt it wasn't that great of a deal to have gotten through a job at 18years old. I always felt a sense of achievement with how I made it to an airline job at 18. But then soon when I was down I started using it as a shield to tell people that I'm worth big things and that job at 18 was a big thing and is a great example. But I guess I might have over done it.
My other friend from Chennai called up to say that my current career choice was going way too slow. He suggested I join airline back. I hated those lines. Esp. when your good friends and people who are close to you speak like this.
Right now I feel broken. May be so far people were being nice. May be at 18 a big job with great package wasn't a big deal. But it's sad that it's used to shut me up when I'm angry and get very verbal.
I'm sad that what I vouched on all my life so far is not that big of a deal for people I feel close to.


Maybe, I'll become someone big someday. For now I've learned to believing in my own self. Because no one really is close to you. I love myself and I would have never told myself such harsh things what people throw at me.
Well, it's nice that I have certain people in life to cater to certain emotions and wants me life. But these guys, I realized are not my life. It is a single man battle. and I must fight it alone.

Rapeeta can't find love saala!

I met Rapeeta in a local. Mumbai local. We asked me certain address and we were soon caught in conversation. It wasn't the usual me. Rapeeta had just shifted to Mumbai.
He was a well behaved boy who seemed like had come from a disciplined small town nuclear family.
Years passed by since we met. As the fate had it, one day while returning back from work I saw Rapeeta with a group of friends in my area. He was in the city of dream Mumbai to complete his higher education. But I think it was more to do with living in THE city in India.
Mumbai is certainly a city of dreams.
I remember when he introduced me to his 1st girlfriend. Yes, the story has many more coming up.
This new girlfriend lasted long but not forever. She i assumed wanted more from Rapeeta but his old fashioned non-metro ways got them part ways. It was sad and he found a friend in me that time. He would call often to ask ways to get her back. But I could hardly be honest and tell him on his face that he wasn't cool enough for the girl he dated.

After the 2nd one left him he was miserable. But with a hectic work life and the numerous exams he would attempt he just would be fine and felt a reason to keep going. These exams and studies gave him some kind of boost from within. It would make him feel confident and hopeful. He kept studying hard because this was his only ticket to impress people around. Until girlfriend no. 3 checked in, oh I mean walked in.

This relationship was great. The girl had a great job so did he now. I wouldn't even have known about the story only if he didn't come across to me going all mushy on Facebook. This girl was everything he wanted. She was a nerd like him but with a twist. She was a wild child and Rapeetas window to a modern world that didn't exist for him until now.

I see how history repeats in an exact pattern. I think about it and I laugh sometimes. He was dumped again by this girl. Reason - Her friends hated him. Same like the reason the 1st girl had to dump him. By this time I believed I wasn't wrong. Rapeeta indeed was a very selfish guy always gunned with his own agenda 1st. And  wasn't that likeable at all. We worked because I was merely observing his story more as an audience.

Papeeta

The 3rd one thought it was too much of a suffocating of a situation to be spending a life with Rapeeta. I wish he had worked on being good friends to people and been more caring and considerate to people around him. He could never be friends neither with his girlfriends. So what do they do when they are not romantic or horny ??? They dump him.

His way of life was way different than of us in the city. He didn't like to share anything he owned and mostly, came across selfish.

Finally after years that I met him he told me he is married. I met the girl and she seemed like a coy Bhartiya Nari. She was all that he didn't want. But I was happy that finally Rapeeta met his soul-mate Papeeta.

They say nah - ''A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.''