Goodmorninggggg !!

I've been doing rounds of productions houses a lot past few weeks. Somehow it just feels like the time is right. Something good might be just up soon. And I only want to stay positive about it. So positive that I want to plan things as if it's already happened. It's just a great feeling minus the tiring auditions in Andheri.

I just keep checking my FB news feed. It's a nice feeling when I see my friends wake up to a new place or a new cuisine much later than me. I feel good that I'm this freak who keeps looking to go out and venture into unknown territory. By the time I was done with LSD cupcakes I saw everyone holding one in their hand. BTW I'm done with those cupcakes.

It's just a positive in me that I tend to pat my back always for. A thing for trying out everything that's new. What worst could happen I might not like it, but atleast I've experienced it and I can talk about it. Also it's a good feeling when your friends talk about trying something that they just tried for the 1st time and you are like '' oh yeah totally, I tried it last year''.

That's just how I'm. Don't get me wrong okayyyy =P

Single Man battle

There was this moment when I felt that shitty. Someone very close to me said I got through my 1st big job by fluke. It hurt me immense. Maybe it was just in rage, maybe in anger we speak to hurt others. But that moment has stayed with me until now.
Exactly few months back my very close friend told me that he felt it wasn't that great of a deal to have gotten through a job at 18years old. I always felt a sense of achievement with how I made it to an airline job at 18. But then soon when I was down I started using it as a shield to tell people that I'm worth big things and that job at 18 was a big thing and is a great example. But I guess I might have over done it.
My other friend from Chennai called up to say that my current career choice was going way too slow. He suggested I join airline back. I hated those lines. Esp. when your good friends and people who are close to you speak like this.
Right now I feel broken. May be so far people were being nice. May be at 18 a big job with great package wasn't a big deal. But it's sad that it's used to shut me up when I'm angry and get very verbal.
I'm sad that what I vouched on all my life so far is not that big of a deal for people I feel close to.


Maybe, I'll become someone big someday. For now I've learned to believing in my own self. Because no one really is close to you. I love myself and I would have never told myself such harsh things what people throw at me.
Well, it's nice that I have certain people in life to cater to certain emotions and wants me life. But these guys, I realized are not my life. It is a single man battle. and I must fight it alone.

Rapeeta can't find love saala!

I met Rapeeta in a local. Mumbai local. We asked me certain address and we were soon caught in conversation. It wasn't the usual me. Rapeeta had just shifted to Mumbai.
He was a well behaved boy who seemed like had come from a disciplined small town nuclear family.
Years passed by since we met. As the fate had it, one day while returning back from work I saw Rapeeta with a group of friends in my area. He was in the city of dream Mumbai to complete his higher education. But I think it was more to do with living in THE city in India.
Mumbai is certainly a city of dreams.
I remember when he introduced me to his 1st girlfriend. Yes, the story has many more coming up.
This new girlfriend lasted long but not forever. She i assumed wanted more from Rapeeta but his old fashioned non-metro ways got them part ways. It was sad and he found a friend in me that time. He would call often to ask ways to get her back. But I could hardly be honest and tell him on his face that he wasn't cool enough for the girl he dated.

After the 2nd one left him he was miserable. But with a hectic work life and the numerous exams he would attempt he just would be fine and felt a reason to keep going. These exams and studies gave him some kind of boost from within. It would make him feel confident and hopeful. He kept studying hard because this was his only ticket to impress people around. Until girlfriend no. 3 checked in, oh I mean walked in.

This relationship was great. The girl had a great job so did he now. I wouldn't even have known about the story only if he didn't come across to me going all mushy on Facebook. This girl was everything he wanted. She was a nerd like him but with a twist. She was a wild child and Rapeetas window to a modern world that didn't exist for him until now.

I see how history repeats in an exact pattern. I think about it and I laugh sometimes. He was dumped again by this girl. Reason - Her friends hated him. Same like the reason the 1st girl had to dump him. By this time I believed I wasn't wrong. Rapeeta indeed was a very selfish guy always gunned with his own agenda 1st. And  wasn't that likeable at all. We worked because I was merely observing his story more as an audience.

Papeeta

The 3rd one thought it was too much of a suffocating of a situation to be spending a life with Rapeeta. I wish he had worked on being good friends to people and been more caring and considerate to people around him. He could never be friends neither with his girlfriends. So what do they do when they are not romantic or horny ??? They dump him.

His way of life was way different than of us in the city. He didn't like to share anything he owned and mostly, came across selfish.

Finally after years that I met him he told me he is married. I met the girl and she seemed like a coy Bhartiya Nari. She was all that he didn't want. But I was happy that finally Rapeeta met his soul-mate Papeeta.

They say nah - ''A man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.''

Arun Ice Cream

Recently I shot for a pretty huge ice cream brand from South of India. Arun Ice-cream. What I didn't knew until very recently that it was the Amul Ice cream of south. In that manner Im happy to be part of something that big.
I got an oppurtunity to work with the best production house and ofcourse, my high was being cast opposite Kainaz Motivala. She has acted as Ragini in Ragini MMS. The movie fared well at the box office. I was certainly mesmerized by her since she debuted in Wake Up Sid where she did a cameo opposite Ranbir.

This could have been another experience but I think the people involved in the shoot were amazing.

Here some pictures from the shoot -

Friends, not really !

When I went to bed last night I told myself - It has happened again. People who I made my friends took me for granted again. Why I don't see friends who want to be friends with me for the sole purpose of friendship.

I had told myself that people are stupid. As stupid as I'm. They won't understand me and neither would I ever be able to understand them. Infact it was because I gave up understanding people that I stopped expecting anyone to understand me. I decided the life go by. I would live everyday. Meet my friends over weekend and have a ball of a time. But then one fine day something big happened.

That day when I was told a secret i was totally taken aback. Shocked because I had never experienced a situation like that. So when I was confronted with the truth of some friends by themselves I stayed quite. I'm only trying to accept people because one day may be I would need that kind of acceptability with my own shortcomings or situations. 

So again I was into the whole close friend drama. But then when those people started misunderstanding my extreme love and actions I backed out. I was called Judgmental and Rigid. I was sad and disappointed. I shouldn't be expecting this. But the fault I again let people let in. If I gave someone power to love I also gave them power to hurt me.

I went sleep early last night but with a heavy heart. Tried to console my own self with no one to speak to. I avoided confronting anyone because it turns around that I'm a fool who allows people to hurt and affect me. I don't want those intelligent and practical people advising me I'm at fault. I just want them to see how wrong the others were and why they should change not me.

When I woke up this morning and finally chose to share. I realized one more thing that no one is ever wanting to hear you out. Everyone their own agenda in life. When u will share your problem they will want to sort out their own misery too. Irrespective if you ready to solve their problem or no. Now that is an expectation everyone has to be heard. But at the same time when U have shared you story to relieve your own self. It just got tough for me.

The day started at a not so happy note. The feeling of being alone and being not understood is not really cool. I must sail through. I must find happiness today may be at the gym. Or may be umm... meet at old friend or call them. Because people are not gonna change  They will always have their agenda up 1st before yours. So give them an ear. Listen to them. And let go off your own pain through things you like to do. I would live my day today. I would not live it to meet anyone's expectations. Today my aim to the day would be to aim something happy. Those who want to help me towards it would be welcome. And yes I would call them friends. 

Happy New Year 2013

2013 started with much Halla Gulla. I was with my usual friends house partying on New Years eve. This time around I planned to cook. The easiest I could have thought of is making Spaghetti with either white or red sauce. I chose both for different palates. The dishes turned out oh-so-average. But then this is an usual affair. My food turns out very average tasting. But then we had Gulab Jamun made by Aditi. So I hogged on to it the most. And left the momos for next morning. We had Shilpa join us too. This may be was the last time we met her before she leaves India for good to settled down in Germany with her husband. Shiva seemed in full. He finished a bottle of wine and how !

Here are some pics from the party --

Wish U all a happy and sexy 2013.