Missing : Tasneem Songerwala

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart !

I was 17 when I 1st stepped out of my colony.

Everything outside BARC walls fascinated me. I was that guy who 1stly never had friends and when I did I did not hang out with them much. I avoided going in crowd. I found everyone my age to be mean or may be I was ultra sensitive. I very well fit the introvert description and certainly was a bit bitter to have had no friends. I just couldn't trust anyone forget about opening up.

But this story is about that stunningly beautiful lady with a more beautiful heart who turned out to be a strong and trustworthy anchor to my wandering teenage soul. It was a turning point in my life.

( May 2005 ) One afternoon early to the class I sat inside the Air-Conditioned admins office when I saw her walk in. She looked no ordinary. A diva in every sense. I died and reached the sweet haven when she turned around and asked others looking at me - Who is this young gentlemen. I almost peed in my pants. If it qualifies then that was our 1st interaction ever.

I'm Tasneem Songerwala, I'm your aviation instructor'' she introduced herself with a heart melting smile as our jaws dropped. I remember she had worn a pista green slim fit formal shirt and a formal brown knee length skirt with a belt. She had a glamorous existence and she knew it very well.
I was sitting on the corner seat smiling ear to ear because Ms.Magical was now going to be my instructor for next one year.
I left no opportunity to impress her and soon I was her blue eyed boy. Everyone in the class envied me.
14 years of flying experience and travelling the world oozed out in every small gesture of hers. She talked flirtatiously and we never had a dull moment in her class. What made Tasneem Ma'am strike a cord with all the students was her sense of humour that would have us rolling on the floor. My favourite would be her inflight stories.

Once she asked Hanika to leave the classroom because both of us couldn't stop laughing and I, she clearly knew was at fault. Moments like this reaffirmed that I was indeed her favourite, very clearly.

She managed to make me believe that I wasn't an outcast. The introvert in me was dying and she understood me like noone else ever did outside my family. At home I was a tiger but now there was a strong need to be accepted by the outside world. So when she came along I surrendered. I was awestruck but now I respected her more for seeing the real me inside.

Half way through the year came a sudden halt to this journey. She announced her exit from the academy. She was leaving India for good. Almost all of us cried the day she broke the news. This was the 1st time I saw her sad and soon she was gone. I wasn't prepared for it. I was hurt and somehow felt left out all over again.

Years went by and I missed her more every passing year. Wondering if she remembered me. I wanted to share so much with her. But she had vanished without a trace.

(2008) Years later I saw her at Mumbai domestic airport. Ofcourse where else could I have possibly met her. I was in uniform. It was exactly how I wanted her to see me. With every stride I walked faster. As I came closer I realized it wasn't her. A little disappointed I moved ahead with a big smile. It didn't matter if it wasn't her just her thought left me feeling so positive and rejuvenated for the rest of my life.

Once I troubled her to an extreme that I kept sending her voice-mails because she wouldn't  pick up my phone. I also remember how she failed me in a presentation because I assumed she would never fail me. But she did. It was 26th July 2005.

When my friends say missing someone is so painful I correct them and say missing someone is the most beautiful feeling. It can only get you smiling.

Tasneem ma'am lives in my heart and I'm sure one day I'll meet her in person too. For now half my prayers are answered. How ?

One fine day last year (2011) something unbelievable happened. I got a Facebook request from her. I smiled I cried I smiled again. It was a surreal experience to see her again, virtually though. I think she took time to recollect my face. But then that also makes me think if I added her on Facebook. Guess the excitement left me with no memory of the actual. I had my folks right behind me with their chin on both my shoulders looking at her snaps. Finally they had a face to the name Tasneem Ma'am.

(August 2012) 17 to 24 and she is my most favorite person on earth. A part of my peronality when you meet me still and will always reflect her. A lot of me today wouldn't have been there if I never knew her. I still trouble her with my side of stories and the connection just seems exactly how it was in 2005.

It's beautiful how some people walk into your life out of nowhere and leave such a big impact. From being introvert to not so introvert now I have come a very long way. It was Tasneem Songerwala for me, my angel. Do you have someone like her in your life too ?